Disclaimer: This is a sad post and I know I cried making it so you might cry too...just a heads up.
December 10th, 2007 I lost my brother and best friend. Today is the four year anniversary of his death. I wish I could say I will just remember all the good times I shared with him but that's not entirely true, it's hard to forget what happened that night.
Nick passed away that night from a firearm accident to the head. As I held him in my arms begging him not to leave me, he passed on. We lost a wonderful young man that day. At times I still blame myself for not being able to save him but I know that there was no coming back from that type of accident. But one thing is comforting...I know he did not die alone. He passed on with me telling him how much I love him and how much I need him. And I feel very lucky to have been the last one with him.
Nick was and still is my best friend. He was always there for me no matter what I needed. He helped me though so many hard times in my life that I know I could not have made it through without him.
Nick was such a kind and caring person. You could always find him with a smile on his face.
Nick would do anything to help anyone. He was very selfless and giving. Family was also important to him. He would do anything for his family.
To say Nick loved to skate would be an understatement. He lived and breathed skateboarding. He was a the skate park every day and all weekend long. He was also very good! He made the hardest of tricks look easy. We held his memorial service at the skate park just down the road from our house. We found that to be the perfect place to have it since it was one of the places he loved most. And I know that in Heaven he is still skating...
I will never forget my little brother. I love him with all that I am and I always will. I still to this day remember everything exactly as it happened that night and I still have nightmares about it. But even in my dreams he is there to comfort me. I look forward to the day when I can see his smiling face again and hold him in my arms and never let go. Here are a few more pictures of him that I would like to share...
I love you Nicholas Aaron Heitkamp...you are never forgotten.
oh Em. This post definitely made me cry. Love you so much.
ReplyDeleteThis was a beautiful post and a wonderful tribute to his memory. I felt like I was able to get to know him better, to see the fun, unique spirit in his eyes and the love between you. The love will ALWAYS be there and I am so proud to see you writing about this, you have come such a long way in your process, and I am so proud of you. You are a strong, brave woman and I am grateful to know you. loves and BIG hugs!! ~Lindsay
ReplyDeleteThank you, Emily for being able to put this in words. It is a night none of us will ever be able for forget. Our Nick will always be with us and I know he knew you were with him when he left us. I thank you for doing what I should have done but was was not strong enough to do. You are one very special lady and I am proud to be your mom. I love you.
ReplyDeleteEmily, i am sorry for your loss. your brother looked like he loved life and enjoyed it to the fullest. thanks for sharing your thoughts and great pics of him with all of us. you are a great girl and i know you are making the most of your life in honor of your brother-Doreen Crabtree, Lindsay Swoboda's Mom.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry I'm commenting on this post so late. You and your brother share so many physical features and I'm sure he got many of the great personality traits you mentioned from the example of his big sister. Those are fantastic pics of him and your family. It is a great thing the way you are honoring his memory. Stay strong!
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